How to Relax

"This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably. one of the secrets of energy in our great men." - J.A. Hadfield

Relaxation is a powerful tool! Learn to relax yourself, do it regularly, and you'll find it easier to keep anxiety at the right level to cope more effectively with tough situations and difficult people. You'll feel generally more healthy - and even improve your golf game! Here are four simple ingredients for effective relaxation:

* First: Don't try to relax! Get fairly comfortable, and simply pay attention to any tension, aches and pains, or anxious thoughts you may have. Don't do anything - just observe tension - and it will probably start to fade.

* Second: Focus on your breathing. Aim for long, slow, regular breaths. Let your stomach swell out like a balloon as you breathe in, then let it deflate as you breathe smoothly out. On the out breath, try to let go of all the air, imagine tension flowing out of your body, and allow your chest to sag downwards as you exhale (which automatically relaxes the muscles of the shoulders and neck). Your breathing will settle more easily into a regular rhythm if you imagine ocean waves, or the swing of a long pendulum. Try breathing in to a slow count of four, hold for two, and breathe out to a slow count of six.

* Thirdly, Relax muscle groups one at a time. Let muscles progressively become more limp and slightly heavier with each breath, perhaps counting slowly from 1 to 5 or as you do so. Mentally repeat a phrase like "My arm is heavy and relaxed", or "My legs are feeling warm, heavy and comfortable".

* Fourth, use your imagination to relax mind and body. With eyes closed, picture tension slowly flowing from your legs, arms, head and stomach towards your chest, ready to be blown away along with each 'out' breath. Picture a relaxing place or scene, a beach, a garden, a river, even a warm bath. Make it up, or use a memory you associate with relaxation and fun. Use all your senses to make the image more real - and focus on details. If you're picturing a beach, watch the waves rolling in rhythmically, hear the surf pounding, and feel the sun's heat shining down on your face, warming your whole body.

Anxious or negative thoughts can really interfere with relaxation. One way to overcome this problem is to stop trying to relax, don't try to banish stressful thoughts, but allow them to come into your mind. Visualize them as clouds passing overhead which just float away; write worries on an imaginary blackboard and let rain slowly wash it clean - or put them in boxes and have a fleet of trucks remove them! Try tensing up all your muscles and let them relax in their own time. By accepting the tension and worry, you allow relaxation to occur naturally. But if you get frustrated, go and do something useful and come back to relaxing later.

Learning to relax and use your imagination makes you very powerful; you'll deal more effectively with stress and be more likely to achieve your goals. It takes practice - but it's well worth the effort!

Dr. Dave Rainham teaches Stress Management and Stress Relief at Stresswinner.com

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Stress Management - 5 Tips For Dealing With Family Stress

Dealing with family stress is a surefire way of creating tension in your household and beyond. Families are an important part of your life. At times it may seem like your family is the source of your stress, but they are also an important source of caring and emotional support. Your family is a valuable resource for coping with stress. They provide you with love, joy, pride and deep satisfaction, while causing confusion, irritation, frustrations dissatisfaction, misery and at it's worse violence.

Families are complicated. Any significant change within the family unit is stressful. Births, deaths, divorce, weddings, dealing with a rebellious adolescent are those things we think about that cause extreme stress. But what about a child going away to college or even starting school for the first time or taking care of a frail elderly parent. I can remember that doing homework was daily stressful event. Stress ripples through the entire family until it's resolved.

But families, God love them, are forever. Even with the stress would you be willing to give them up. After all at the end of the day when all else is said and done they are our biggest champions and will stand beside you, and in most cases will love you unconditionally.

So how do you change or reduce the stress in your family. Since the situations always involve people, open direct communication is your biggest resource. Secrets and indirect communication are the primary sources of stress. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings. When we assume responsibility for someone else's happiness, we communicate a lack of respect for their competence as humans beings. Communication skills take practice. One reason for the lack of good communication is the difficulty of understanding someone other then yourself. Family secrets, alcoholism, drug addition, abuse, violence, infidelities are the biggest obstacles to effective communication. Practice using these tips for better communication and stress reduction in your family.

1. Be direct and clear. Say what you need to say. Avoid vague and confusing words.
2. Make "I" statements. Speak from your own perspective and avoid blaming others
3. Let them know the effect their words had on you. How it made you feel
4. Make sure your verbal and nonverbal messages are not conveying anger
5. Be a good listener. Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Avoid formulating in your mind a rebuttal before they complete their statement.

And I'd like you to invite you to learn even more about how you can easily eliminate family stress.

And now I'd like to offer you more stress relief techniques that get results? Learn how to dramatically improve your stress relief results by claiming your FREE 5 Part customized home study course. You get instant access at => http://www.transitionyourlife.com

From Linda Hampton RN, MSN A Wellness and Stress Management Coach

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